Last weekend, Brian and I decided to head to Bed, Bath, and
Beyond to start our wedding registry. We were led upstairs to an office, where
we were handed a binder filled with pictures of the various assortment of
dinnerware the store offered. There were no prices, just pictures and their
descriptions, and we were told we needed eight place settings of whatever set
we chose.
I flipped through the pages for a moment and settled on a
set I liked. I turned the book around to show the nice lady and to ask the price,
and the nice lady said, “Oh, those are $88.”
“$88 for a set of 8? That’s not bad!” I replied.
“Oh no.” I think the lady was trying not to laugh. “$88 per
place setting. Those are Vera Wang.”
The look on my face must have been incredulous, because the
lady quickly added, “I know that sounds like a lot of money, but you’re getting
married! You deserve it! It’s the one
time to get anything you want for free.”
And so began our registry. We spent the next two hours being
followed around, pressed to scan (literally) the most expensive item in each
category, and pressured to meet a “scan quota” at every stop. When we politely tried to argue that we
already had a perfectly good food processor, six cookie sheets, and a quality
used set of mixing bowls, our objections were met with a smile and, “But this
is your chance to get the best cookie
sheets. You’re getting married – you deserve
this!” The best suitcase? You deserve
it! The best toaster oven? You deserve
it! The best pots and pans? You deserve
it!
We left the store, me nearly fuming and Brian feeling
nauseous. As we looked over the $3,000 worth of items we had scanned, we failed
to find more than one or two that were even reasonably priced – and we needed
about half of what was on the list. I just shook my head as I reported to Brian
that our dishes and the $9 cloth napkins the lady had added of her own accord
would alone cost over $600. Six hundred dollars.
We cancelled the registry.
Two days later, God called us to sponsor two precious little
boys. Meet Abishek and Akshay.
And suddenly, it all made sense. The reason why the registry
made us sick and angry was because it was a waste. It was extravagant. Most of the items were unnecessary. And
we realized with a heavy heart that it was all a lie.
We don’t deserve
anything.
God gives us joy and material possessions, not because we
deserve it, but because He is good. God is incredible. And you know what? He does deserve something. God deserves our praise and our giving,
which He asks us to share with others.
Abishek and Akshay deserve our giving, deserve our
sacrifice, because God has asked us to share with them. Brian and I want to give as much as we
can because we want these little boys to know Jesus. We want them to know that
God gives us grace only because He loves
us, not because we deserve it.
Don’t you worry, we will still have a registry – just at
Target rather than a specialty store. We will still have some things that we want
more than we need. And I will still add my KitchenAid mixer because one day I
will be out of nursing school and will actually have time to bake.
But most of the items on our registry won’t be the most
expensive or the absolute best you can buy. We came to this decision not
because of frugality, but because Brian and I don’t want to build our marriage
on “stuff” (Did you know that money and stuff is the number one reason why couples get a divorce? Irony.). God tells us that marriage is about serving Him better together
than we could alone, that marriage is a chance to see the most complete image
of Him we can experience here on this earth. He says, “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food
in my house. Test me in this, says the Lord Almighty, and see if I will
not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you
will not have room enough for it.” - Malachi 3:10
Brian and I want to
build our marriage on God’s image of marriage, not man’s image of
getting all the free stuff that you want. We want to honor God together. And we
are starting by sharing Jesus’ love with two precious little boys.
And one day, if we
get one, maybe God will even let me feed the homeless with my KitchenAid mixer.
