The First Ten Days of Marriage

“How is married life?” I’ve had countless people ask me this same question over the past ten days, and as much as I love answering it, I feel like my answer is always somewhat inadequate. Our daily activities are simple enough – thank you card writing, learning to cook, going to work – but I am often at a loss as to how to sum up everything I am experiencing and feeling and learning. I have learned more in ten days of marriage than I learned in the first two and half years of dating and being engaged to Brian.  What I am about to say is by no means a complete list, or even a tiny glimpse at the intensity of the contentment, joy, and encouragement I have held in my heart since May 18. But alas, here is my first shot at describing this crazy and incredible thing called marriage.

Ten Things I Learned in the First Ten Days of Marriage

(One from each day, starting with our wedding day.)

1. I have learned that you will remember approximately four vivid memories from your wedding day because the entire day is such a blur of the greatest joy, encouragement, and blessing you have ever known.  (Thank goodness for videography.) Also, if you go to O’Charley’s in a wedding dress, they will give you free pie.
2. I have learned that waking up next to your best friend is the greatest feeling in the whole world. Even when you wake up with a cold on your honeymoon.
3. I have learned that sex is a learned skill that you don’t have to (and won’t) master in the first week. Also, it’s okay to have more sleep than sex on the honeymoon.
4. I have learned that the late night laughs, unexpected tears, and asking for forgiveness can bring a closeness even romance can’t bring.
5. I have learned that you will feel a touch of sadness on the way home from the honeymoon – your wedding day is gone forever and the guests are likely already back to their normal lives. It’s okay. Cry, smile through the tears, and then realize that so far your marriage has been more beautiful even than your wedding day.
6. I have learned that Hamburger Helper absolutely counts as cooking.
7. I have learned to let go of the things I can’t change – our living room might look like Hoarders with all of the wedding gifts, but I can survive the next three weeks.
8. I have learned that God is gracious and faithful even when I mess up, and I have to show (and be shown) that same love.
9. I have learned that the world’s expectations for me aren’t real – and that’s okay. For the first time in my life, I can look in the mirror and see what Brian and Jesus see when they look at me.
10. I have learned that living life with my best friend is more full and joyful than I ever imagined. Marriage might be a lot of work at times, but I firmly believe it’s the best glimpse of heaven we have on this earth.

For the first time in my life, I am beginning to understand what Christ meant when He said, “Whoever loses his life will find it.” I stood before Brian eleven days ago now and promised him before God that I would lay down my life for him because of what Christ did for me, and it was in that moment that I began to see who I am and what my life is in Christ. That, dear friend, is more incredible than our wildest imaginations, and makes me so excited to see what God has in store for Brian and me.